Reality is Broken and the Teachers' Lounge is a Horrible Place to Eat In

I've only ever experienced lunch as a professional educator in one teachers' lounge. But for some reason, I feel safe generalizing a frequent complaint that I've heard from previous colleagues to teachers at other schools too. It's the one about video games and how kids waste so much time by playing them. You can put it into your own words, but the sentiment is always the same.

Now, I'm not a gamer, but I wouldn't mind it if I was one. I believe there is a gamer somewhere inside of me who causes me to cringe whenever I hear remarks about gaming robbing kids of their childhood. It's that same gamer that has led me to read Reality is Broken by Jane McGonigal, her book about how gaming principles and good game design can save the world that we currently live in. It's here that she writes,

Game developers know better than anyone else how to inspire extreme effort and reward hard work. They know how to facilitate cooperation and collaboration at previously unimaginable scales. And they are continuously innovating new ways to motivate players to stick with harder challenges, for longer, and in much bigger groups. These crucial twenty-first-century skills can help all of us find new ways to make a deep and lasting impact on the world around us. (p. 13)

Aside from the eye-opening realization that this excerpt had for me, the irony of teachers wanting to keep their students from adopting the behaviors that schools work so hard to inspire in them through antagonizing video game play made me throw up in my mouth just a little. Those teachers are ones whose class I would not want my child to be in.

Dear iPad, It's Not You, It's Me

Dear iPad,

I still remember the first time that we met. It was very unexpected, but I felt an immediate connection with you, almost as if we already knew each other from long before. I loved how simple your packaging was as I slipped you out of your box. From the first hello as I powered you on, we understood each other and took care of one another's needs. When no one else was around, you kept me entertained. When life was getting hectic, you kept me sane. And when I was sick of paying attention to other people, you let me know that it was okay and even helped to make me look productive in meetings when I was really just looking at viral memes. iPad, we've had a lot of good times together, some that I will never forget.

And while those memories will always last, the time has come for us to say goodbye. iPad, it's not you, it's me. I need change in my life, and frankly, while you continue to debut new looks, nothing has really changed with you on the inside.

It wasn't anything that you did to me exactly. A while back, I started playing around with Google Apps. We really hit it off, and one thing led to another resulting in Google Apps introducing me to more Google products.

Things were great when Steve was still around, but ever since he passed away I've felt like you have given up on reaching your full potential. I need someone who is more goal-oriented and continually strives to be her best self. Unfortunately, I don't feel like that describes you anymore. I know you were close with Steve, but you can't let his death hold you back any longer.

Remember a few months ago when we got into our rut? Well, I started hearing about a new tablet that was doing the things that made me fall in love with you two years ago. While I wrote everything I was hearing off as pure rumor and speculation, a few weeks ago, I finally saw this tablet with my own eyes. And to be honest, I fell in love all over again.

I think it's only fair that I tell you that her name is Nexus 7. She is one of Google Apps' best friends, and the three of us have been spending a lot of time together. Nexus 7 is more clear with me than you were. You should really just take a look into her screen sometime, and then you will understand what I'm saying.

iPad, you were getting sluggish too. Nexus 7 has the energy and processing speed that I need right now. On top of that, last month, when I woke up in the middle of the night to find you looking different from the way that you looked when I went to bed, I got angry. Some of my friends even said that your new appearance made them nasueous.

I could go on about the rift that has been created between the two of us, but I'm not here to hurt your feelings. I just want you to take a good look in the mirror and ask yourself if you are becoming the tablet that you original set out to be.

I know that tablets can change, but I also know that they have to change themselves. No matter how hard I try, I cannot make you be the tablet that I wish you were.

I'm leaving, iPad. In fact, I've already been spending a lot of time with Nexus 7 since she and I first met. She is nice to me. Her user interface is beautiful. I like the way that she fits in the palm of my hand. And she is automatically updated by Google directly. I know that you have more apps that the Play Store has, but as I've grown up, I've come to need a more serious relationship with a tablet in my life. One that will help me to get work done instead of playing Amateur Surgeon 3 all the time.

I don't know if we will ever get back together. This may be goodbye forever. I guess it all just depends on you and whether or not you decide to make some changes. But for now, I'm going to sell you to someone else. I know this will hurt, but they're willing to pay as much money for your used 16GB second-generation model as I need for a brand new 32GB Nexus 7. Hopefully, things will work out with you and them.

Right now, we're over.

4 Reasons Why I Love Technology Almost as Much as I Love My Wife

I love technology (that's a pretty good topic sentence, eh?).  I know what you're thinking; If you love technology so much, why don't you marry it? One reason, because I'm already married. However, if I wasn't married, I'd take technology on a weekend trip to a drive-thru chapel in Vegas in a heartbeat. Following, are five reasons why.

1. Technology Let's Me Hang Out with My Friends All I Want

Let's be honest. I have a blog about how much I love technology, so it's not like I have many friends in the first place, at least none without an avatar. But when it comes to social networking, I'm making up for how unpopular I was in high school. That's not to say that I'm a Kevin Bacon-like figure online, it's simply alluding to the fact that I have a load of people that I can talk with who have similar interests as me. Two of my favorite places to talk with them are Twitter and Google+. And unlike the Yahoo chat rooms that I would log onto when I was a kid, I can actually be myself and develop relationships that transcend the keyboard (but if anyone asks, I'm ripped and have a lot of desirable skills).

2. Technology Shares My Sense of Humor

If you ask my real wife, I'm the only person who thinks my jokes are funny (What did the rapper 50 Cent name his native American son? Buffalo Nickel!). But with technology, I never stop laughing. YouTube is one of my favorite websites to go to for a wholesome chuckle. Just last night, as I was laying in bed, I came across a 9-part miniseries titled "Street Fighter: the Later Years." If you grew up in the 90s like I did, then you already know that this is referring to the Capcom game made for Sega Genesis. What was once the most popular player vs player video game on the market is continued in "Street Fighter: the Later Years" as the now potbellied and lackluster characters from the original game reunite for one last tournament. Hilarity abounds, and I'm definitely not the only one laughing this time.

3. Technology Doesn't Mind if I Go Out with Other Devices

Yes, I have them. Until science engineers a way for my brain to download apps and view real-time Twitter feeds, I will always have a device at the ready. Whether a desktop computer, a laptop, a tablet, or a smartphone, I carry the Internet with me like a rape whistle. How else am I supposed to spend my downtime, thinking? Research has proven that our brains are unable to do two things at once. What an inefficient tool? Even my phone can play music at the same time as Minecraft.

4. Technology Doesn't Spend All of My Money

In fact, it makes money for me. Sure, I had to fork out some cash to purchase the devices I use. But as I've learned to create and connect with various online tools, others have hired me to teach them about it too. I've taught others how to use Google Apps, how to build a website, how to record a podcast, how to edit videos with their smartphones, how to use online games in the classroom, and how to publish an eBook. So, how did I learn enough about technology to generate cash flow? Google.

5. Technology Gets Sexier as I Get Fatter and Uglier

There are two facts of life that I have come to terms with. 1) I'm getting fat. 2) Technology is only getting more awesome. Not only can I carry the sum of all human knowledge in my pocket, I could access it in a pair of glasses (Google, please give me a pair of Google Glass to test for you). Technology lets me talk to my car, print a 3D pair of plastic socks, and save the world from augmented alien intruders that aren't actually there. Technology isn't going to grow old with me. It's going to grow younger. And when I die, technology is going to keep me alive by projecting a holographic image of me doing whatever it is I would have been doing if I hadn't of died.

I love technology. I love it almost as much as I love my own wife. If my wife is reading this, please leave a pillow and blanket out on the couch for me. Oh, and my phone charger. Don't forget to leave my phone charger in the living room for me too.