I love technology (that's a pretty good topic sentence, eh?). I know what you're thinking; If you love technology so much, why don't you marry it? One reason, because I'm already married. However, if I wasn't married, I'd take technology on a weekend trip to a drive-thru chapel in Vegas in a heartbeat. Following, are five reasons why.
1. Technology Let's Me Hang Out with My Friends All I Want
Let's be honest. I have a blog about how much I love technology, so it's not like I have many friends in the first place, at least none without an avatar. But when it comes to social networking, I'm making up for how unpopular I was in high school. That's not to say that I'm a Kevin Bacon-like figure online, it's simply alluding to the fact that I have a load of people that I can talk with who have similar interests as me. Two of my favorite places to talk with them are Twitter and Google+. And unlike the Yahoo chat rooms that I would log onto when I was a kid, I can actually be myself and develop relationships that transcend the keyboard (but if anyone asks, I'm ripped and have a lot of desirable skills).
2. Technology Shares My Sense of Humor
If you ask my real wife, I'm the only person who thinks my jokes are funny (What did the rapper 50 Cent name his native American son? Buffalo Nickel!). But with technology, I never stop laughing. YouTube is one of my favorite websites to go to for a wholesome chuckle. Just last night, as I was laying in bed, I came across a 9-part miniseries titled "Street Fighter: the Later Years." If you grew up in the 90s like I did, then you already know that this is referring to the Capcom game made for Sega Genesis. What was once the most popular player vs player video game on the market is continued in "Street Fighter: the Later Years" as the now potbellied and lackluster characters from the original game reunite for one last tournament. Hilarity abounds, and I'm definitely not the only one laughing this time.
3. Technology Doesn't Mind if I Go Out with Other Devices
Yes, I have them. Until science engineers a way for my brain to download apps and view real-time Twitter feeds, I will always have a device at the ready. Whether a desktop computer, a laptop, a tablet, or a smartphone, I carry the Internet with me like a rape whistle. How else am I supposed to spend my downtime, thinking? Research has proven that our brains are unable to do two things at once. What an inefficient tool? Even my phone can play music at the same time as Minecraft.
4. Technology Doesn't Spend All of My Money
In fact, it makes money for me. Sure, I had to fork out some cash to purchase the devices I use. But as I've learned to create and connect with various online tools, others have hired me to teach them about it too. I've taught others how to use Google Apps, how to build a website, how to record a podcast, how to edit videos with their smartphones, how to use online games in the classroom, and how to publish an eBook. So, how did I learn enough about technology to generate cash flow? Google.
5. Technology Gets Sexier as I Get Fatter and Uglier
There are two facts of life that I have come to terms with. 1) I'm getting fat. 2) Technology is only getting more awesome. Not only can I carry the sum of all human knowledge in my pocket, I could access it in a pair of glasses (Google, please give me a pair of Google Glass to test for you). Technology lets me talk to my car, print a 3D pair of plastic socks, and save the world from augmented alien intruders that aren't actually there. Technology isn't going to grow old with me. It's going to grow younger. And when I die, technology is going to keep me alive by projecting a holographic image of me doing whatever it is I would have been doing if I hadn't of died.
I love technology. I love it almost as much as I love my own wife. If my wife is reading this, please leave a pillow and blanket out on the couch for me. Oh, and my phone charger. Don't forget to leave my phone charger in the living room for me too.
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